i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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