Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My ass is underappreciated
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
