You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
