not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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