North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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