i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I fill condoms, not promises.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
