I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
