I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he thought i was a dude.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
foreskin is a definite game changer
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
