We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
