The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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