i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
