his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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