A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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