I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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