Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if only i could text you this smell
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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