hotel room ftw
Please, let me fuck your mom
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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