I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
