I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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