He had one of those small greek statue penises
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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