Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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