i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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