I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
