I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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