Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I did not marry a roomba.
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