One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
