i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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