guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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