i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
