I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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