Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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