But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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