some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You ruined the universe
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
