You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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