I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
