he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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