Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
