just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
