Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
