Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You are a genius and a whore.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
