We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
