Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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