I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
