I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
