I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So apparently I’m into choking now
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