Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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