yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
