They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize