all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
