This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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