If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
