just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i out mim tonsoeep
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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