You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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