hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
