I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
