Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Randomize
