I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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