I think I just saw someone hide a body.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Someone came in the potted fern
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
