the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
